Free range cruising kids

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At the moment, we’re with four other kid boats including thirteen kids between our little fleet. All five of us are sharing an anchorage in the Maldives, bound for South Africa by the end of the year. They’re on Totem, Utopia, Ceilydh, Morning Glory, and Evita. The kids range from 9 to 16, and about half of the junior fleet is comprised of teenage cruisers. This is really tremendous!

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Of course, this is fantastic for the kids, who love having a group of compatriots. And while cruising kids are accustomed to making friends across a range of ages and regardless of gender, it’s nice to be able to have friends around who are a little more like you.

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It’s also fantastic for the parents. Number one: we have happier kids. But we also have a chance to share perspective with other cruising parents, to compare notes on what we’re doing and where we’re going with the unique filter of traveling with kids brings. We get to feel a little more normal in our own world, already so different from the conventional path, where families are very much a minority.

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It makes for extra memorable days at play. I have a LOT of pictures from the last few weeks that fit into the theme of “a whole bunch of kids jumping off the boat into the water.” Destination snorkels are more fun with friends to share what you see (even if, as at one of our recent anchorages, the teen set spends more time treading water and talking to each other than actually snorkeling. Whatever makes ‘em happy!).

There’s a term called “Free Range Kids.” I’m a little out of the loop on pop culture but as I understand it, this describes kids who are given extensive freedom to explore the world at their pace, with guidance but a minimum of oversight. That describes us and a lot of other cruising families pretty well. We give them a great deal of independence: it’s typical to drop them off a nearby beach for the afternoon, to make their own fun. We’re in radio range, they have a handheld VHF, and unless someone is bleeding we don’t need to be contacted. And they’re FINE. They exercise ingenuity and imagination.

This particular day, they came back having found delicious little clams buried in the sand at the water’s edge. We got to share a delicious evening snack.

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Or they’ve collected garbage on the beach and used it to build a village. This one comes with a mosque (domed drink lid) and ruins (crushed plastic cup).

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Maybe that’s why every time we have a barbecue on the beach, the kids start their own fire at a comfortable distance. They relish this freedom.

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There was the bay where they spied a sandbar, and claimed it for their own. I’m not sure if a flag was erected on the site, but shelters were built, forts were constructed. Note that boats with teens are prone to losing dinghies to their progeny…it’s good to have more than one way to get ashore.

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It all reminds me how one of the questions we’ve heard from parents who want to go cruising is whether or not there will be enough other kids around for them to play with. I think that generally, it’s not too hard to have other kid boats around, as long as you make it a priority to be around other boats with kids… vs following other priorities, which may or may  not involve proximity to kid boats you’ve met or heard about in the coconut telegraph. It is a choice. But “generally,” boats are in popular cruising grounds or along commonly traveled routes. The Indian Ocean is not exactly a heavily trafficked cruising thoroughfare. Fewer boats, fewer families, make give me a great appreciation for our current situation.

For more about cruising with kids, check out Voyaging With Kids: A Guide to Family Life Afloat, which I’ve co-authored with Sara Dawn Johnson and Michael Robertson. It’s available as an ebook or print title from Amazon (using the link above sends me a tip: thank you!), Paracay, and hopefully a chandlery near you.

Families of all shapes and sizes know we love it when you read this on the Sailfeed website.

11 Responses to Free range cruising kids

  1. Boyink April 18, 2015 at 11:10 pm #

    “make it a priority to be around other boats with kids” – as fulltime RVers we find the same thing when it comes to community. It, like most things, can be found if you make it a priority.

    Nice post – I’ll be referencing it on the DitchingSuburbia weekly blog roundup tomorrow – hope to send you some traffic!

    • Behan April 19, 2015 at 6:58 am #

      Just one more thing that RVers and cruisers have in common! Thanks for the shoutout. That’s the best blog name ever, you know!

      • Boyink April 19, 2015 at 8:10 pm #

        Thanks…we’re pretty happy with it! 😉

  2. Judith April 19, 2015 at 8:16 am #

    Sometimes I tell myself I would never change anything about how we raised our kids, we really lucked out. Then I read your posts about what you guys are doing and know i would do it your way if I had to do it all over again. Your kids are lucky and you are going to be giving yourselves HUGE pats on the back when they are grown.

    • Behan April 20, 2015 at 6:59 am #

      Don’t do the woulda/shoulda- nobody wins those, and I’m sure you’ve raised amazing kids! I feel very lucky to be giving our kids this childhood, but ultimately it’s parenting and love and not where we are / what we’re doing.

  3. Nadine April 19, 2015 at 10:10 am #

    Say hi to the Morning Glories from the Namanis (if its the same boat – Amy and Arthur and their two kids)!

    • Behan April 20, 2015 at 6:45 am #

      It is the same boat, Nadine- they say hi back! 🙂

  4. Randy Hein April 23, 2015 at 9:36 am #

    Behan–Thanks for posting the information about the kids and their friends. It’s wonderful they have made friends from distant ports. Kinda like a gathering of foreign exchange students. It’s great your children are learning world history, oceanography, astronomy, anthropology, self-reliance and many other disciplines. Also, it’s sooooo important they are not addicted (yep, I mean really addicted) to their smartphones and texting. Here at home, kids are growing up with lack of interpersonal communication skills because they don’t know how to talk or socially interact without a darn smartphone. You and Jamie deserve a pat-on-the-back for providing your children with such a wonderful upbringing. I do have a question: do your children ever say they miss watching a pro football, soccer or baseball game on TV? Do they keep up to date on the internet with sporting events or other activites of interest to them?

  5. Dawn May 8, 2015 at 2:30 am #

    As a former cruising kid myself (age 13 – 17), it’s no surprise that I grew up to be a free-range mom. My daughter (age 11) notices the difference in the freedom she has, compared to her friends.

    Cruising with teens is definitely more challenging, but there are pay-offs too, namely on passages, you have extra watch keepers!

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    […] amazing post about a kid-boat meet-up in the Maldives is an absolute must-read.  How can you not want to cruise with your kids after seeing what their […]

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